Iris turns 1

I'm not sure how it happened. But Iris is now one year old and I'm reeling with the sensation of time flying by. I've done a horrible job blogging this year so even on paper (or the screen) I can't quite put into words who this child is becoming. But I know one thing for sure. She knows who she is and what she wants from life.

I'll start this post trying to describe some personality traits of Iris to make more concrete those things that I've neglected to write. If you were to come upon Iris out in public, you might get the impression that she is a very serious little girl who never makes noise or acts silly. She has quite the serious face and uses it almost exclusively when we're out at stores or at church. An old man came up to us at the grocery store after receiving one of Iris's glares thinking that he could win her over and get a smile out of her. Nope. Sorry old man. Iris did not want to smile at you and she is not changing her mind.
Don't get me wrong. Iris isn't rude. She's just discerning. There is only a finite number of smiles to share each day and she just wants to make sure she has enough left for Daddy. Because Daddy always gets a smile. The last month or so she's been doing that adorable baby wave with the pudgy hand grasp and release that is so adorable that sometimes even Iris is drawn into its power. Every time that Karl comes into the room she turns on the charm and that cutesy wave. Every time he leave the room or for that matter, turns his back on her, Iris cries. She's working on wrapping Karl around her little finger early. And it is working. Iris often accompanies Karl on his morning walk with Nova now that the weather has issued us some reprieve.

So in public, Iris is discerning, but at home, Iris is entertained. Everything is funny, especially Ruben. No matter how inappropriate his behavior (i.e. tackling Iris, spitting water at Iris, tickling her face, etc), Iris thinks he is hilarious. He's even funnier from the safety of Mom's arms but even up close I'm surprised at her toughness. Give her a few more months and she'll be tackling him. June and Iris have a wonderful relationship too, but I often catch June treating Iris as more an extra large doll and Iris not playing along quite as well as she might.

Iris's favorite activities include opening the kitchen cabinets and searching for spillable boxes, crawling into Ruben's room and finding pennies to eat, finding any piece of fabric (particularly June's underwear) and pulling it over her head, and playing with markers (lids on of course). She gets in surprisingly little trouble and is rarely injured but I have definitely fished more out of her mouth than I did with either Ruben or June. She avoids the stairs like a pro (lots of warnings from mom and the kids), but recently has discovered she can crawl up on things like couch cushions, people lying on the floor, and step stools. It is only a matter of time. The outside world is a virtually unexplored space that we've recently tackled. So far, Iris is a fan of swinging but not so sure of this stuff called grass.

So last Saturday was Iris's big birthday celebration and while I didn't plan for anything big, it ended up being just a fantastic family filled weekend. Brad and Susan drove over from PA and Nana and Papa flew up from Topeka (a flight from Topeka, wow!). Katie and Jacob came up from Aurora, and Karl and Kory had driven to Kansas for Uncle David's funeral so even Dad drove back for the party. Saturday night we opened presents and had blueberry upside down cake. Iris wasn't sure about the cake at first, but warmed up pretty quickly once she discovered it was edible. Present opening for a one year old is pretty synonymous with older siblings squabbling over gifts while one year old sits there and watches. Iris got a bunch of board books because last month we realized most of our baby books were destroyed in one of the floods last spring and summer. Does that tell you how often we've sat down to read with Iris? I'm sure she's scarred for life. 

  Think that was a party. Wait until the next day! Let's see how many family members we can cover in one weekend. Picked up Diane and Jim and the kids at the airport and had some pizza for lunch. Cousin Miriam was in town from Slovakia so we packed up and headed to Rachael and Chris's house for a party with 30 or so Wellers and Schmidts. By Monday, we were all ready for a nap.

Frozen

I woke up this morning confused. I looked out the window. Snow. That's normal and the fact that it looks fresh makes sense since it snowed a few days ago. But wait. The street is covered in snow. My inquiring mind wakes up my inquiring mouth and I ask Karl, "did it snow again last night?" He scoffs and tells me he's already shoveled the driveway and yes, in fact, it snowed a good 3-4 inches and will drop another inch or two during the day.

This has been my personal groundhog day. Someone get Elsa to fix this eternal winter. (singsong voice) "Palatine's in deep, deep, deep, deep snow." But even still, the kids around here have continued to grow and change even though their world never does.

Ironically in this cold weather, June has become quite the swimmer in the last 2.5 months. She's halfway through her second session of swim lessons at the Y and the teacher has moved the class onto skills usually reserved for the third level. Today they practiced frog swimming and the ever awkward freestyle. Watching all three kids today at her lesson was good for me. It made me realize that every child at this stage in swim education comes up to breathe and looks like they are drowning but in fact are almost always in control of their movements and that's what they were trying to do. So when she actually does swallow a mouthful of water no one is quick to respond because it looks just like the previous breaths. But she's moving independently across the pool that is amazing.

June has also picked up a behavior from some friends (and a particular cousin) that involves picking up Iris. At first it was cute to watch her wrap her arms around her sister's tummy and heave her through the air while Iris's little feet swing helplessly. And Iris doesn't mind...exactly. As is her style, Iris will go with anything her brother and sister suggest even if it means physical discomfort for her. When Ruben saw June carrying Iris around, he thought he could do that to, and that is when I started making new house rules. "No carrying Iris." Our kids are smart though, so they stay seated, grab Iris around the waist and heave her onto their laps and either roll around on the floor or (my personal favorite) hold her on a lap while scooting down the hardwood floors. June, with Iris in tow, scooted from the dining room to Ruben's room in record time. At least they're following they rules.

Speaking of Iris, she's still a one knee, one foot crawler and boy, does she get around. Her new favorite activity is opening the cupboard doors of the kitchen and banging around the items inside. Thankfully, our cupboards have drawers with a two inch lip so she can't pull much out, but did manage to dump a lot of baking soda on the floor the other day before I figured out what that rushing sound was coming from behind the cupboard door. Her new words are "naanaa" which means "boob" and "DAAA" which means "Dad, don't walk away from me!" or "Dad just walked into the room!" She also will say a word that June thinks sounds like "June" but just sounds like "do" to me but I won't break any hearts. She still wheeze laughs and has added a prominent open mouthed tongue to the act.

My nickname for Iris lately has been "my parrot" because every time I put her in her carseat she screams and then I pull the blanket tent over and she's instantly quiet nearly every time. And then she falls asleep. This poor third child naps in her crib maybe 2-3 times a week because she always catches her naps when we're out and about. She has slept in the YMCA nursery amidst numerous screaming children more often than she's played in the nursery while awake. The staff are amazed and always excited when they actually see her awake.

One of our favorite family activities lately has been turning on the Frozen soundtrack and belting out lyrics while we stare out at our own winter wonderland. While he only does it when he thinks he's alone, Ruben can actually sing most of the words and is usually the one to request the music to be turned on. When the music is off in the house, I know his personal soundtrack keeps going because the boy just keeps singing. He's always made up songs more than June ever did, but since Nana did therapy with him, he's a regular radio. His favorites are anything from frozen and Father Abraham and jibberish about what he's doing. And if he's not singing he's either talking or absolutely silent for hours on end. The other morning he read books in his room (his choice) for nearly an hour while I managed to do more laundry and chores than I cared to do. When he came out he said that long book made his tummy hurt and asked for a banana which is the only food he can get himself so he asks for it often.

Funny random story about Ruben telling random stories. There are two other little boys in June's swim class. Last week after class, we walked out with one of the boys and his mom and sister. While we were in the locker room, Ruben interrupted my conversation with the mom to tell me he had something to tell her. Go ahead, Ruben. "I have a yittle sister and a big sister." That was it. No embellishment other than finger points to said sisters. After June was dressed and we were still chatting, Ruben once again interrupted and said, "I have a dog named Nova." Great, Ru. Interacting with adults isn't his strong point. He tends to be shy in public. Now the other family is leaving while I finish gathering towels and coats and boots (neverending in this tundra) and Ruben stops what he's doing, looks up, and screams "I HAVE SOMETHING ELSE TO TELL THOSE GUYS!" And with that he is racing out the door yelling at this poor family to stop. I scoop up the rest of our junk along with the girls and struggle to catch up. Ruben catches the family at the corner and tells them (this is obviously really important) "we also have a really big couch."

Speaking of the Y, Ruben is also taking a gymnastics class. This is his first real class without mom and due to some classes canceled due to cold (yes, cold, not snow) it took a while to get into the routine, but no matter how much of a fuss he made before the class, he always walked into the room upon his own volition and never cried once he was in. He's learning how to listen to a teacher, how to walk on a balance beam, and all sorts of other gymnasticy things. More than anything, I love how much the class wears him out. Tuesday afternoons have been prime time for naps in the car. With the subzero temperatures, getting outside to play is nearly impossible with all three kids (seriously, by the time everyone has all the gear on, someone has to pee again). I am really looking forward to the day when I wake up and look out the window and see grass and mud.

June turns 5

At first I wasn't concerned. June was turning five. Really it made sense. She's responsible enough, helpful enough, feeds and dresses herself. That's what five year olds do right? But I forgot that five year olds are also one year closer to complete independence and I miss my little girl. This week she really surprised me with her abilities with writing and letter knowledge. Ruben colored a picture and June signed it for him. She's copied his name before but without any direction she managed to write his name. She also is really starting to be interested in words and what they say. Will our little girl be able to read in the next year? Will she not need me to help her read the words on her birthday balloon? I'm sad. And really excited for this next stage.

For her birthday, Karl and I both took our Junebug on a date. Karl took her for donuts at Spunky Dunkers and then to the office for a little art time. Then Aunt Katie came for lunch and stayed with the little kids while I took June to one of those paint your own pot places. She chose a cupcake jewelry box and we really had a nice time just the two of us uninterrupted. As many toys as our kids get for Christmas and throughout the year, I'm loving the idea of birthday dates.

Having a late January birthday has never really been an issue for our family. Sure we've had snow before but this was the first year that it impacted plans. On Feb 1st we were supposed to have a big birthday dinner with the other Fays, Nana and Papa, and a contingent of the Hookers (Levi had been out with RSV). But then Friday night, Nana and Papa's flight was cancelled because of snow, Kory and Cara were thinking of staying home because of snow, and I really didn't want to clean the bathroom sink, so we had all but cancelled her birthday dinner. Then on Saturday we decided to cash in a giftcard to AMC theaters and go out to see Frozen. We invited Vera and ended up getting all the Hookers (minus Chris). Then Kory and Cara decided the roads were clear and made it up for dinner after all. It really ended up being a fantastic day and a great celebration and I didn't even have to clean the house.  June's favorite gift by far was a new baby doll whose clothes you can change. Nana made a pair of matching pajamas for June and the doll as well as bought an outfit that matches. The doll has been our constant companion and June just might wear these PJ's for the rest of the year.

Each year I try to remember to do a couple of things to get a baseline for where June is on her birthday. Last year I forgot to mark her height on our baby height measuring thing, but I managed to remember that this year. And we also managed this interview. Now I just need to remember to write in her baby book (this is the last year there is a page for birthday info) and I'll feel like I'm on top of this parenting gig.


1. What is your favorite color? pink, purple, and red....and green actually.

2. What is your favorite toy? my baby doll because I like to snuggle with her and play with her and dress her and she's really snuggly

3. What is your favorite fruit? orange and grapefruit

4. What is your favorite show? Cinderella

5. What is your favorite thing for lunch? Peanut butter and honey and jelly

6. What is your favorite outfit? this (the matching outfit that goes with her baby which she has worn for 3 days now)

7. What is your favorite game? catch the fish (alphabet fishing game)

8. What is your favorite snack? craisins with nuts and chocolate chips

9. What is your favorite animal? giraffes

10. What is your favorite song? Move it, Move it

11. What is your favorite book? the big book that had a lot of stories in it (Amelia Bedelia collected works)

12. Who is your best friend? Hallie and Vera

13. What is your favorite cereal? cheerios

14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? go sledding

15. What is your favorite drink? juice, like grape juice

16. What is your favorite holiday? valentine's day

17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? my baby doll (she also takes about three bears with her)

18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? cereal

19. What do you want for dinner on your birthday? Spaghetti and meatless balls

20. What do you want to be when you grow up? a doctor

Ruben turns 3

How in the world is Ruben three years old! But I am ready for him to no longer be two. The week leading up to his birthday was one of those weeks where I contemplated sending him to a toddler rescue. Seriously. I was having major issues keeping the kid from hurting his sisters or tearing the house apart. A few weeks ago, we were over at the Hooker's house for dinner and the adults made the mistake of assuming that the noises from Levi's room were ignorable. Twenty minutes later we were all shocked at the absurd number of toys/books/legos/blankets/stuffed animals that the two boys had managed to pile in the walking space of the room. It took four adults and two toddlers a good 15 minutes to just find the floor. Since then, Ruben has been trying to recreate that amazingly fun experience in our own home but unfortunately mom keeps interrupting him just as he's getting going. I'm all for kids making a mess while they play, but I am not into the idea of making a mess merely for the sake of making a mess. So between interrupting his mess making and keeping him from hugging Iris quite so tightly, I feel like all I do with the kid is tell him "stop." I know that three year olds can be even worse than two year olds, but at least I'm hoping for a new challenge in my parenting career.

His actual birthday fell on a Sunday this year which is good and bad all tied up in one. It's definitely a hectic morning without seeing much of Dad (after not seeing him Saturday evening since he was preaching then too). But the day redeemed itself with a meeting of our PEACE group at our house. In between church and small group we opened presents with Nana and Papa on Facetime. Ruben got a big bucket of Duplos from Papa and then opened the awesome drums that Nana bought and didn't even touch them before moving back to the Duplos. I hope his love for building with legos continues at least through Christmas because I just scored a huge collection of duplos from a friend that will be coming out from Santa. So far, I'm not worried. He could build with legos and play with play dough all day and be one happy boy.

So I started doing this interview with June when she turned three so I should do the same with Ruben. I answered some of the questions for him because it took three sessions just to answer the ones he wanted to answer.

1. What is your favorite color? I weally yike black

2. What is your favorite toy? Train

3. What is your favorite fruit? I really like candy. I really like candy with that.

4. What is your favorite show? Max and Ruby

5. What is your favorite thing for lunch? 

6. What is your favorite outfit? surfboard shirt and slickie pants

7. What is your favorite game? He really likes one of Nana's brain games where you stack shapes according to the pictures. We've lost one piece but he still loves it.

8. What is your favorite snack? banana

9. What is your favorite animal? I weally yike all dogs named Nova

10. What is your favorite song? Monster Marching (Mice go Marching by Hap Palmer)

11. What is your favorite book? Cars and Trucks and Things that Go

12. Who is your best friend? Yevi (Levi)

13. What is your favorite cereal? Oatmeal squares

14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? play in the backyard

15. What is your favorite drink? Yemenade (coincidentally, Levi calls Ruben "Yemen")

16. What is your favorite holiday? Halloween

17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? He has a special attachment to his pillow. No substitutions

18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? cereal

19. What do you want for dinner on your birthday? Hamburger

20. What do you want to be when you grow up? car-man

First world problems

So I usually start my blog posts with excuses about why it has been so long since I've blogged but this time I have a real reason. Since June, our internet has been spotty at best. Having worked in customer service myself, I find it incredibly taxing to call those horrible 1-800 numbers and listen to people product offer me instead of listening to my problem and working with me to solve it. We bought a foreclosed house so we know that the wires and bones of this house are all old and tired and probably need replacing, so no, I do not want to trouble shoot my modem for a $49.95 charge over the phone. I WANT SOMEONE TO COME HERE AND REPLACE WIRES. So goodbye AT&T and hello Comcast. We've never bought anything from a door to door salesman in our lives but when the comcast guy came around the neighborhood last week, we were done. And now I sit and write this post knowing that I don't have to look for that hideous red bar at the top of the browser telling me it isn't saving my blog post because the internet has once again gone out. And now it is even easier to type this blog post because the older kids are downstairs watching PBS kids on THE TELEVISION! In eight years of marriage we have never once paid for cable TV but since the Comcast guy came to our door just as we were contemplating making one more 1-800 call, he got a double sale (plus it was the same price as just internet and in six months I'll cancel it and stick with just internet). I feel like a real American now.

What do you consider quiet?

This afternoon I went to a thrift store for an hour and came home refreshed as if I had spent the past hour at a deluxe spa, not a storefront full of used household and clothes items. But the truth is, I could have been anywhere and relished the sound of the world around without the voices of our three beautiful children. Lately, when I finish buckling everyone into their carseats (the 5 point restraint system and Ruben are quite a match), I find myself closing the passenger side sliding door and walking incredibly slowly to the other side of the van enjoying the leisure of those ten feet where I am certain I will not have a single kid interruption. At night I often feel like it is a waste of good quiet hours just to sleep away. Kids almost always sleep at least until 2 am before starting to stir so I have from 8:30-2 to myself and I feel I should spend that time more productively. However, by 9 I'm usually ready to just eat more food and sit on the couch so I'm usually asleep by 10 to avoid eating triple bedtime snacks. Karl's been down for the count with allergies for the last two days so I've been limited in my time spent away from the kids. When I think back on it, the only time this week I was totally kid free was on Wednesday night from 7-9 as I practiced with the praise team.

Having three kids is awesome and we haven't written off the possibility of having more, but I looked around our living room this afternoon and felt like there are an awful lot of people in our house. June was coloring at the kitchen table and Ruben was on the floor with play dough. Karl was stretched out on the floor and Iris was sitting and laughing at everything. And there I was staring around the room thinking "what have we gotten ourselves into!?!"

I think partly this new revelation coincides with Iris' new milestones. She's sitting very comfortably on her own. She can even remain sitting when Ruben insists on invading her personal space, but his new favorite game is tipping her over which she can resist for a minute with loud screeching while I race from which ever room I was in to catch her when she topples. Iris tipping is not a cool game, Ruben. She also has gravitated away from short cat naps in between feedings and toward two longer naps each day. We haven't had a regular nap schedule in this house since before we lived in this particular house. The idea of scheduling in time for naps around our already hectic schedule is daunting but Iris is content to spend at least one nap in the carseat while we're out and about. For all of our own wellbeing I can't be home all day to let our youngest child sleep two naps in her bed. I need to get out of the house once a day at least or else I am no fun to be around. I mean it.

Speaking of naps, Ruben needs to start taking them again. By 3 or 4 in the afternoon he has no self control, no volume control, and an unending desire to touch his sisters on their faces. Most afternoons this week, I made up a late afternoon errand just so I could take the opportunity to use that five point safety harness to contain the boy. He doesn't voluntarily nap. It nearly always takes physical restraint to convince him to sleep. Although, today he fell asleep at the table while he was eating peanut butter toast for an afternoon snack. Not a great snack to fall asleep on. But when he's not tired and out of control, he is such a sweet kid. His new favorite phrase is "I yuv my yittle sista SO MUCH." And he does. He's always aware of where Iris is sitting or sleeping and he always wants her to be away and smiling at him. And Iris puts up with so much physical love from Ruben. In fact, I need to explain some elementary psychology to this baby because she is totally reinforcing his negative behaviors by constantly smiling and laughing after he tackles, tips, mauls, or licks her.

While Ruben was sleeping this afternoon, I was reminded how awesome June is. We spent our freetime doing a kids' yoga video, coloring "homework," and making pizza and chocolate zucchini bread. She desperately wants to be helpful and to plan just how everything is going to happen. And she wants to do everything WITH someone else. It's so wonderful and yet it can be such a pain when Ruben is in attack mode in the afternoons. He'll hurt her and she'll know she should step away and yet she so desperately wants to be with someone she goes right back to the abuse. School is such a blessing for her because it gives her 15 other people to be with instead of these three lame-o's at home.

While I miss quiet things and time spent without the weight of another human being in my arms, I'm trying to enjoy this stage of life. At least while I'm sitting here typing, I've been able to decipher my own voice coming through the chaos even if at times I feel like no one listens to a word I say. Have I mentioned that afternoons tend to get a little hectic around here? If anyone has a good suggestion for getting a nearly three year old to revert to napping again besides narcotics, feel free to come over and try it out. I'm ready to go to more thrift stores.

How much difference two weeks can make

Tomorrow marks the two week anniversary of potty training Ruben. This is how I felt on Day Three of potty training.
"Well, we've been stuck at home for three days now and Ruben has peed on the potty a lot. However, he's also peed other places a lot. And we've sat on the potty a lot without any success. We've read countless books and the bathroom smells horribly like urine but seriously, what is the point of cleaning a bathroom while you're potty training a two year old boy. It is not as if it is going to stay clean. I've been peed on once myself, and I've done a buttload of laundry. He only has 10 pairs of undies and I'm pretty sure I have to do laundry every day to keep up. I think I'll just put the kid back in diapers and try again in a few months. I just don't have the energy to put myself through any more days like this. I've been in public looking more disheveled than I have ever let myself be. I wrote a note to Karl declaring that I was 'unfit for adult interaction during potty training.' I'm pretty sure Ruben will never pee on the potty. He'll go off to college wearing diapers for sure."

Things really felt that bad. By one week into potty training, I'm at least able to go out in public without full on panic attacks about how frequently my son is peeing on the floor. Truthfully, he's only had two accidents in public. Once at the church picnic, so at least we were outside. The other time was at the library and it was not a convenient pee accident. I'll leave it at that. An unfortunate side of potty training has been Ruben's regression in the speech and language department. In fact, he has thrown some of the largest tantrums I have ever witnessed from any child (even those kids in the grocery store whose parents you feel so sorry for). Something doesn't go his way and while he's able now to control his bladder, he is unable to control his emotions. This high pitched scream echoes around the neighborhood (because of course the window are open) for what seems like eternity. There is no reasoning with him because I'm pretty sure he can't hear me over the yelling. If I try to physically restrain him, the screams actually get louder even though I thought that wasn't possible. I tried ignoring, time out, whispering, yelling, reasoning, bribing. Seriously folks, if I would have been at the grocery store, you would have looked at me with so much condescension. The funny part was that the tantrums ended as abruptly as they began. Not one lasted more than 5 minutes but those short minutes drained a day's worth of energy from already frazzled parents.

But that was last week. Now this is how I feel.
"Gosh, that wasn't that bad. Last night he even wore undies to bed and had no trouble staying dry through the night. It is slightly embarrassing that he has chosen the code word "poop" to mean he has to go potty. I mean so far he's used it mostly at home, but soon I'm sure we'll be somewhere (like church) and he'll feel the urge and so comfortably yell out "POOP!!" By the way, he can only yell this word with an intense sense of urgency. But only one accident in the last four days. Not too shabby."

It is amazing how much difference two weeks can make. I've always said that potty training is mostly about training the parents to respond to the kid and just a little about teaching the kid to actually go on the potty. There are so many exciting things in life to distract a two year old from his own bodily urges. By next week I'm sure I'll have completely forgotten how hard these last two weeks have been. We'll carry on until the next stage surprises us with its complexity. (I might add as well that the bathroom has still not been cleaned. I'm looking for another good excuse)

Equal amounts of sincerity and sarcasm

My life right now is amazing. I say this right now with equal amounts of sincerity and sarcasm. My life is amazing. We have three amazing kids and we spent the weekend at the Lake with the other Fays and came back refreshed and rejuvenated. Iris is still amazingly perfect. She's fussy at times but mostly for good reason - like mom is totally ignoring me because I've been too perfect! June has started school and loves it and I'm really loving it too. I wasn't sure how I was going to feel, but I knew for sure that June was ready to have a teacher that wasn't me. The way she idolizes teachers is almost funny. We've worked on identifying numbers for a while now, but today she came home from school and pointed out 1-5 on a poster like no one had ever explained that to her before. Goodness sakes kid. And Ruben is getting so big as well. His vocabulary is immense and he'll say things that are so darn cute it is hard not to just squeeze him tight and laugh. The other morning he burst into my room while I was still asleep to tell me he saw a "huge snapping turtle and a cormorant" on his walk with Dad and Nova. Karl's work schedule allows him to come home most days for lunch and he always gets his day off (or if he doesn't, he flexes time). He's fulfilled and I'm fulfilled as well.

My life is amazing. I talk about poop and pee WAY TOO MUCH. All day long I'm constantly asking Ruben if "he's listening to his body" and "if it is telling him to go pee." We are on day three of potty training and I'm feeling optimistic (even though it took two type one accidents and one type two accidents this morning to remember how to go on the potty). I went to June's preschool orientation the other night with all three kids while Karl had premarital counseling. I was so concerned about getting us all there on time that I didn't realize until I sat down next to my cousin Rachael that I was wearing spit-up stained capris, a incredibly wrinkly t-shirt (better than the peed upon shirt I took off before I left), uncombed hair, and a sports bra since I had no other clean bras. So here I am meeting the other parents and teachers at June's school and I look astoundingly horrible. Not to mention that I had a fussy baby who wanted to nurse and I wasn't prepared to leak through my unlined sports bra in order to feed her. June's teacher Ms. Raupp asked if anyone had volunteered to be head room parent and I raise my hand from the corner letting each parent in the room look at me and think "yikes...maybe I should volunteer to be room parent because that lady doesn't look capable of maintaining her personal toilette much less plan a decent party for our kid's preschool class." There are now three additional head room parents.

And yet....somehow...my life is amazing.

Third Time's a Charm

When I'm in public with all three kids, I get a lot of sympathetic looks (I also get a lot of looks that communicate, "seriously lady, can't you move faster...it's your own fault for getting knocked up three times"). Lovely older ladies ooh and aah and almost out of necessity, everyone asks how the baby is doing. My answer is always the same. Iris is that perfect baby everyone dreams about. She's cute and rolypoly. She smiles at everyone (even though Dad is her favorite - he's hilarious!). And she sleeps. Every once and a while she'll cry but it is always for a reason. Either she's tired, poopy, or hungry. As soon as I pick her up and try whichever thing I think she might want, she's happy and smiling again.
I actually have started questioning how I parented June and Ruben because I must have done something wrong to make them cry for no reason. Because babies don't have to cry as long as you know what they want. That is a farse of course.  Some babies cry and some babies don't, but wouldn't it be awesome if I were an amazing enough parent this time around that my baby never NEEDED to cry.

Iris is so averse to crying that at times I worry that she won't tell me if Ruben is crushing her vital organs. His favorite way to interact with Iris is to snuggle her which means laying his enormous, heavy head on her head or torso. And then he'll nuzzle his head into her body without the word gentle even entering his mind. Of course, when I catch him nuzzling too hard (every time he nuzzles it is too hard), I tell him he needs to get off Iris and then he pushes himself up to a sitting position putting all of his body weight right on her chest. It is amazing she hasn't been smothered. It's the toddler version of Of Mice and Men.

June on the other hand is already experimenting in the codependent sibling relationship. As soon as she wakes up she's ready to hold Iris.  After lunch, it's time to hold Iris. Actually, whenever she's bored or when Iris is awake, June thinks it is time to hold her sister. It is adorable. However, it goes a level deeper. For the last few weeks, June has been coming into our room in the middle of the night and sleeping on the rug next to Karl's side of the bed. He hasn't stepped on her...yet. We keep asking her why she insists on sleeping on the floor in our room (she knows she's too big for our bed), but the only answer we get is that she's lonely and wants to be around other people. Wednesday night when I was at praise team practice, June had a pretty major meltdown at bedtime letting Karl know that she was just SO LONELY. Karl tried to convince Ruben to let June sleep on his floor, but Ruben informed Karl that since we had painted the room, it was his room and not "DooDee's." So Karl hauled Iris's co-sleeper into June's room and they both slept through the night in their own room. I miss having my baby in our bedroom, but seriously, no kids in our room all night long. That is amazing.

aaaahhhh summer.....aaaacccchh summer

Summer is half over and I have mixed feelings. Summertime (in my idealistic memory) was always a time for extra fun and treats, fun projects, and moving slow in the heat. This summer has had a lot of those wonderful things so we'll start there. We've done a lot of crafts, watched some good movies, finished our library reading program (we got a movie theater gift card as a reward for everyone in the house completing the program), went to the Lake for two weeks, hung the best tire swing in the world from our back yard tree, joined three different CSA's so we're eating lots of yummy food, and finished up a week of VBS. Each and every one of those things were super fun and enjoyable...and each one of these things has a dark side. I feel like I'm about to write a blog about Star Wars. Probably the closest I'll ever get.

First of all, our vacation at the Lake. Jedi Good Side. Amazing time with family, both immediate and extended. The first day was just the Fays and we made the most of it by paddleboating to Pokagon (all five of us) and playing on the beach. It was great fun even though the headwind on the way back made us think that we might possibly never reach Weller Inn. Nana and Papa and Brad and Susan arrived the next day (I think Pootie was there the whole time too, but she can be elusive). We spent 5 days with just our Schmidts and Schaefers. It was a blast. Nice lake days and plenty of help with the kids. Iris slept through the night every night but one. June learned to swim with a life jacket on and Ruben was content to play in the water. The next week brought at least 13 kid cousins and countless adult cousins and aunts and uncles. June, Vera, Addi, Chloe, and Lizzy played all day every day. Once Levi showed up later in the week, we were reminded how adding two 2-year old boys together somehow or other makes each one 4 times more work. And then Finn joined in the fun and I lost track of all mathematical equations. Iris even bonded with Aldo, her elder cousin by 11 days. Ruben also developed a newfound love for his cousin Matthew who was amazingly patient with what could have been a very annoying 2 year old cousin. We late night bonfires with plenty of singing, jigsaw puzzles that Susan completed way too fast, and even managed to catch a few games of cards. Overall, a pretty snazzy trip to the Lake.

 

  Now let's move on to the Dark
Side of our Lake vacation. On the sixth day of our vacation, we got a text from church telling us that our basement was flooded. Our amazing neighbors had noticed that our basement was flooding, called the fire department to turn off the gas, called the church to try to get ahold of us, and started pumping our the water from the driveway. All in all about 12 different neighbors helped pump and cart buckets and trashcans full of water out of our driveway (it's the lowest point so they were really saving our basement). So here we are on a perfect vacation the morning after a wonderful anniversary date without kids, and Karl has to pack a suitcase and head back to Palatine to figure out what kind of damage we're facing. Thankfully, Dad volunteered to join him and although I'm sure they didn't have as much fun as they'd have at the Lake, they made the most of slopping out the basement for the next two days. Karl had to stay in Palatine for a wedding and weekend worship services and was able to catch a ride back with the Hookers the following Tuesday. The kids and I continued to have fun at the Lake but even with so many extra hands, I found that I wasn't really able to relax as much as I would have liked, but what does relax really mean when you have three kids under five.

Back to Luke Skywalker, et al.
VBS was great! June and Vera were in the same traveling group and spent the week holding hands and doing crafts. Nora and Vera even came over two different days after VBS to just hang out and play for a few hours. The amazing swing in the backyard helps that. Ruben and Iris spent quality time in the nursery with Miss Dawn and I led the Preschool Bible Adventures. Super Fun and...

Darth Vader jumps in. I'm really not capable of nursing a 3 month old, leading 4 classes of preschoolers through a Bible story, and carting everyone back and forth from the house (I really mean just Ruben...that kid will not put on shoes). By Wednesday I was exhausted. Plus I had a two hour Praise Team practice to get our feet wet for the August 3rd weekend. Not the optimal day to access the part of my brain that stores piano chords and harmony singing. Let's just say I'll plan better next year. The other problem with Ruben spending lots of time in the nursery every morning is that he wastes all of his self restraint on those three hours of the day and comes home completely unable to control his body at all. Poor Nova is a popular target for his abuse when Iris is out of reach. I can't figure out if June was just extra whiney because she was tired or if Ruben was also being extra hard on her. Did I mention that I was tired after all those preschoolers? Because I was, and didn't have the extra energy available to manage Ruben's extra uncontrolled energy.

Princess Leiah (I have no idea how to spell that). We put up a huge, amazing, awesome swing that seats four kids at a time in our back yard.

Death Star. I'm pretty sure the tree is an Ash tree and we're going to have to try to save it before the Emerald Ash Bore kills the tree.

Those adorable little bear things. We get a half bushel of fresh, organic veggies each week and right now are in our first week of four to receive 5 lbs of blueberries each week. Starting late August we'll start with 75 lbs of organic apples. Oh, and did I mention that the pick up location is closer than the grocery store and I don't have to leave our subdivision. It's easier than grocery shopping. I paid online and I essentially go through a drive through to pick up my food (I park on the street and leave the kids in the car and pick up on a front porch). We've tried some great food. My new favorite dark green is swiss chard.

Another darkside creature.  Fennel.

Summer goals

Summer's now in full swing in the Chicago suburbs with the requisite thunderstorms and beautiful days and the lawn that needs mown constantly. Did I mention that our lawn here in Palatine is probably three times the size of our Davenport lawn which is great, but we just have a little push mower that is self propelled only by using your legs. In fact, Karl is out right now after getting the kids in bed trying to get a decent start on the mowing before the sun goes down. Last week I mowed two sections during two of Iris' naps and Karl finished the mowing and trimming later in the week. So goal #1 is maintaining the house to some decent standard of care that includes the inside of the house as well, but neighbors can't see in so it doesn't matter quite so much.

For the kids, I feel like this is the first summer where I need to set some goals for myself and for them so we can really celebrate the fact that it is summer after our long school year of transitions and hard work. I'd like the goals to include some learning things, some creative things, some things to avoid (like the inevitable tomato-red sunburn), and a lot of really fun, adventurous things. I'm not setting out all the goals right now because I'm not that type A but each week I'm trying to do something new and fun as opportunities arise.

We've already enrolled the whole family in the summer reading program at the library. The kids and I already collected our halfway prizes so I think we'll probably finish shortly after our trip to the Lake. June is especially hooked. We've read the whole "My Father's Dragon" series together and I'm looking for another series with short chapters and pictures on most pages to start in on. Her reading comprehension is really pretty good once she gets into the story. I find it helpful to ask her a lot of questions and involve her verbally for the first chapter or two as the scene is set and characters introduced. Once the plot thickens she is entranced. I love that my daughter is already showing signs of loving literature as much as I do.

Ruben's big adventure for the summer so far has been his trip to a Cubs game with Uncle Blake, Aunt Sarah, and Karl. They took the train into the city and then public transit up to the stadium. I assumed he would focus mainly on the train trip as the excitement of the day, but that night as I talked to him in bed, he really had a firm grasp on the game of baseball even though they spent very little time talking about it while at the game. "The one guy throw the ball. The other guy, like, bat the ball. He hit it really really hard. And then the guy with the big thing on his hand like get the ball." yep. sounds right to me.

My goal for Iris revolves around sleeping. Last week she slept through the night five out of seven nights. I'm not publicizing this too much to avoid the wrath of all those other parents out there who have infants and babies that don't sleep. I know I'm lucky and I thank God every day for a daughter who sleeps because no parent should have to function without sleep. But I know plenty who do.

For myself, I'm experimenting with food this summer. We've joined a CSA and I'm getting a half bushel of veggies every week as well as a half pound of some variety of cheese. We've had one week so far and I've made arugula pesto (okay), radish/nectarine fresh salsa (quite tasty), pea and asparagus pasta (standby), roasted sunchokes and purple potatoes (sunchokes - okay, purple potatoes - really purple!), scallion and corn quinoa salad, beef lettuce roll ups (fresh cilantro and mint - super super yum), Southern Fattoush (Israeli bread salad - super yum), and rhubarb upside down cake (ready for when Karl comes in from mowing). I love cooking especially when I get to use such great fresh ingredients. It challenges me to have new ingredients in rotation and I hope to find some new favorites. (Oh, and I'm hoping that all these fresh veggies can help me get back to pre-pregnancy weight sooner rather than later)

My other goal is to be able to run a 5K by the time I leave the Lake. The circuit at the Lake is just over 3 miles with a really decent hill. I have run 2.4 miles so far all on flat ground and try to get out 3 times a week to run at least 1.5 miles. By the time I leave the Lake I'd love to be able to run the whole circuit. I had the same goal last year and would have made it but the last few days of vacation were interrupted by Typhoid Levi and running didn't sound so fun when I felt like I should puke. Let's hope this year we'll avoid communicable diseases altogether.

My other goal is to do a lot of "projects" and "boredom busters" with the kids. June lives for "projects" and Ruben can be convinced if the project involves food or cool materials. So far we've made gak, cookies, bleached shirts with cutouts, made Karl's birthday present, made edible dirt, and colored lots of pictures. Thank you Pinterest for unlimited ideas for this goal.

Oh the Park!

Our new house is 7 doors down from a really great playground and park. There are two school playgrounds within a half mile and another public playground just over half a mile away. If we walk a little over a mile south we hit a large park on a lake (two playgrounds, long walking trail around the lake, paddle boats, etc) and in the surrounding neighborhoods another nice playground. There's another park southwest of us that is technically walkable but I find it most useful as a stopping place when we need to waste time after a trip to the library or church or grocery store. Those are just the parks within walking distance (I define walking distance as the length of sidewalk I can traverse with 80 lbs of kid in a double stroller and 12 pounds of kid in a carrier of some kind). Within 10 minutes of our house there are too many parks to count but we've started hitting the ones we've found. Now that area schools are out of session I'm sure we'll have even more fun at parks, but the following is a description of our particular interactions at the park.
June - June's goal at any park is to make friends. In fact, if she can ascertain from halfway down the block that there are no "friends" at the park, she gets pretty depressed and may not even want to go to the park. A friend is defined as...well, anyone really. She would prefer a 4 year old girl but if not that then a boy of similar age will suffice. Big girls are intimidating but definitely intriguing. She may spend the whole park visit standing on the curb just watching and listening if there are enough big girls there. Toddlers are fine, but June tends to strike up conversation with their mothers once she realizes they aren't interested in playing with her. Conversation is as follows, "Hi, this is my brother, Ruben, he's two. That's my mom and my baby sis-tah. I'm four." Sometimes she'll approach moms of older children who have decided not to play with her and ask his/her mom if the child will play with her. She's getting pretty bold. Tonight there was a really tall two year old girl playing with her parents and older brother. The girl loved to run around and every few minutes you would see June running after her yelling "you want to play with me." The girl didn't even acknowledge June's presence but that didn't dissuade June from trying.
Ruben - Ruben goes for the smallest toy available may it be sand, dirt, woodchips, or pebbles. These toys must be piled, dumped, moved, and thrown - although we're working really hard on remembering not to throw them at all and have managed to at least keep him from throwing them at people - unless that person (babies included) first throws the woodchips/sand/dirt at him. Then all's fair. Ruben has yet to meet a climbing apparatus that he can't climb. His particular favorites are the climbing walls. He's wary at first and asks mom or dad to watch him but once he's got the hang of it, he shimmies up the wall super fast. He and June both prefer to play on playgrounds without shoes no matter how hot or uncomfortable walking on woodchips may be.
Kendra and Iris - Iris spends most of her time at the park in carriers of some kind. Since my cousin Rachael is emptying out the house and getting rid of all her baby stuff, new and exciting carrier are keeping us busy trying out what works best. For long distance walks I prefer the Ergo so I can switch Ruben to my back when he gets tired of the stroller and Iris can hang out with June in the double stroller. Short distances I prefer the sling for quick transitions and my new long wrap (Storchenweige) for when I know I'll be standing around for a while. I try to strike up conversation with anyone who's there (maybe that's where June gets it). Today I had a long conversation with a mom of a 19 month old about breastfeeding, yesterday I talked with a mom and grandma about the Renaissance Festival, last week I talked with a really skinny Polish mom about how much milk was too much milk for her 3 year old, and every once in a while I'll actually see someone I know (or someone who knows someone I know). With every relocation I've become more and more comfortable striking up conversation with complete strangers - I know from experience that these could be my new best friends.

Our first month as a family of five

Wow! Where has time gone. It seems that first crazy week might be a compact reflection of life going forward. Iris is five weeks old and last night slept through the night (10-5:30). She probably would have slept through the night the night before last as well but I woke her up at 3:45 to save myself the effort of getting up to pump. Her typical day look like this. Wake up at 5 to eat, sleep til 8, eat again, sleep until lunch time, eat again, sleep until  4, wake up and be fussy while I try to make dinner, eat (usually when I want to eat), stay awake until 9ish, eat again and hang with mom and dad after the kids go to bed, sleep some more. We've started to get glimmers of smiles from her during her awake times, but mostly she's a sleeper. We left her last night with the McCabes while we went out to eat with some couples from church. That was her first full bottle, and it took her forever - probably because she more used to having food shot into her mouth rather than having to suck it out herself.

Iris was baptized on Sunday, May 12 at 11 am. Karl finally got to baptize one of his own kids. Blake and Sarah Ramsey are her sponsors and managed to view the baptism via video chat along with Aunt Betty and Rick and Pam. So at first, it was just Karl, Iris, and I at the front of the sanctuary, but Ruben soon joined us.  I woke Iris up about 10 minutes before the baptism to give her some time to calm down before getting dunked. She stared quietly at Dad while he talked and then when he was starting to get longwinded fussed a bit to get things moving. Karl's pretty liberal in his water pouring, but Iris stayed pretty calm during the actual baptism. At the after party at our house, Aunt Julie, Uncle Paul, Aunt Jane, and Papa quickly identified the shell Karl used to pour the water as a shell once owned by Mort and Dolly. It was used as an ash tray for years. I'm sure there's significance there theologically, but don't think too hard about it. I just found it impressive that my aunts and uncle could identify that particular shell from across the room. It looks like any old shell to me. Other friends and family that came for the event were Great Grandma Schaefer, the Casads, the Schmitzers, the other Fays, and the Hookers. It is so great to be close enough that we can share these life events with so many great people.

Enough about the baby already, right?! 

I"m pretty sure Ruben thinks this in his mind at least a couple times a day. The thought is quickly replaced by "oooh...I feel like kissing that baby" which he does with much frequency. Unfortunately, she's most susceptible to his kisses when she's sleeping and his kisses are not tender, soft pecks. They involve both hands on her head, lips pressing, a bit of slobber, and a loud smacking sound. 

Ruben's big trick lately is his ability to fall asleep anywhere. We're in the stage of the dreaded 5 pm nap. Too late to keep a strict 7:30 bedtime and too early to sleep through the night, I do everything in my power to keep the child awake until dinner even if it means bribing him with Dora or M&M's. Sometimes I just can't catch him in time and I notice a sudden hush has fallen over the house. Then I go on my search for the sleeping 2 year old. 

 I can't win them all.

Ruben's new best friend is "Eee-vI" or in layman's terms Levi Hooker who is about 3 months younger than Ruben. We've spent a lot of time with the Hookers in the last 3 months and it has been wonderful to watch their relationship grow. At first, they could only interact for about 10 seconds before one or the other was hitting or screaming. Right before Iris was born, they took a turn and started playing together but as it happens with 2 year old boys, it still ended in punches and tears. Now, there is still plenty of violence but it seems to be more a part of the game even though Rachael and I discourage it outright. We don't tend to leave them alone together very long and I think we might be justified in that behavior given the mayhem that broke out at Iris' baptism party. Not exactly punches...

What will they come up with at the Lake in the years to come. Look out, Weller cousins, these two are a new breed of Wellertives. 

And finally, June. I only write about her last because she's mature enough to be patient. At least in a blog that she can't, as of yet, read. Poor oldest children are neglected when a baby comes along and June has done her best to be as cute as possible and when that doesn't work, as whiney as you can imagine. Her room has a full size closet with mirrored doors. With the hardwood floors and no real rug, it turns her room into a veritable dance studio. She's expanded her dance moves to include spinning, this adorable head shaking thing, and graceful flying wings. In fact, at church a few Sundays ago as I herd kids out of the pew to go to communion, June pulls out her imaginary wings and gracefully flies up the side aisle. Ruben exits the pew next, sees June flying and jauntily flaps his wings behind her...all the way to the front. 

At Iris' baptism party, all three of June's best friends were in attendance - Hallie, Vera, and Lucy. When I asked her what she was going to do with all three of her best friends, she got this intense look on her face and said, "I'm just going to take all of those girls into my room and play." When Hallie had to leave, June was pretty sad because I'm pretty sure she thought Hallie was moving here for good. So sad :(

I do envy June though. A sister is something I always wished I had (Katie and Starla, you guys count, but you never lived in my house long enough). June is a marvelous big sister and loves to help dress Iris -  morning, noon, and night. She also loves to hold her, but quickly gives her back if she starts to fuss. Now that Iris will actually stay awake for more than 10 minutes at a stretch, June can be found sitting or laying next to her on the bed or in the bouncer singing songs and telling stories. Iris is calmed by June's presence (almost as much as she is on alert in Ruben's). I love to watch this relationship grow because I'm watching something totally new to my experiences - the love that grows between sisters. Brad and Paul, I love you guys, but I'm glad June has a sister to love as well as a brother.