This afternoon I went to a thrift store for an hour and came home refreshed as if I had spent the past hour at a deluxe spa, not a storefront full of used household and clothes items. But the truth is, I could have been anywhere and relished the sound of the world around without the voices of our three beautiful children. Lately, when I finish buckling everyone into their carseats (the 5 point restraint system and Ruben are quite a match), I find myself closing the passenger side sliding door and walking incredibly slowly to the other side of the van enjoying the leisure of those ten feet where I am certain I will not have a single kid interruption. At night I often feel like it is a waste of good quiet hours just to sleep away. Kids almost always sleep at least until 2 am before starting to stir so I have from 8:30-2 to myself and I feel I should spend that time more productively. However, by 9 I'm usually ready to just eat more food and sit on the couch so I'm usually asleep by 10 to avoid eating triple bedtime snacks. Karl's been down for the count with allergies for the last two days so I've been limited in my time spent away from the kids. When I think back on it, the only time this week I was totally kid free was on Wednesday night from 7-9 as I practiced with the praise team.
Having three kids is awesome and we haven't written off the possibility of having more, but I looked around our living room this afternoon and felt like there are an awful lot of people in our house. June was coloring at the kitchen table and Ruben was on the floor with play dough. Karl was stretched out on the floor and Iris was sitting and laughing at everything. And there I was staring around the room thinking "what have we gotten ourselves into!?!"
I think partly this new revelation coincides with Iris' new milestones. She's sitting very comfortably on her own. She can even remain sitting when Ruben insists on invading her personal space, but his new favorite game is tipping her over which she can resist for a minute with loud screeching while I race from which ever room I was in to catch her when she topples. Iris tipping is not a cool game, Ruben. She also has gravitated away from short cat naps in between feedings and toward two longer naps each day. We haven't had a regular nap schedule in this house since before we lived in this particular house. The idea of scheduling in time for naps around our already hectic schedule is daunting but Iris is content to spend at least one nap in the carseat while we're out and about. For all of our own wellbeing I can't be home all day to let our youngest child sleep two naps in her bed. I need to get out of the house once a day at least or else I am no fun to be around. I mean it.
Speaking of naps, Ruben needs to start taking them again. By 3 or 4 in the afternoon he has no self control, no volume control, and an unending desire to touch his sisters on their faces. Most afternoons this week, I made up a late afternoon errand just so I could take the opportunity to use that five point safety harness to contain the boy. He doesn't voluntarily nap. It nearly always takes physical restraint to convince him to sleep. Although, today he fell asleep at the table while he was eating peanut butter toast for an afternoon snack. Not a great snack to fall asleep on. But when he's not tired and out of control, he is such a sweet kid. His new favorite phrase is "I yuv my yittle sista SO MUCH." And he does. He's always aware of where Iris is sitting or sleeping and he always wants her to be away and smiling at him. And Iris puts up with so much physical love from Ruben. In fact, I need to explain some elementary psychology to this baby because she is totally reinforcing his negative behaviors by constantly smiling and laughing after he tackles, tips, mauls, or licks her.
While Ruben was sleeping this afternoon, I was reminded how awesome June is. We spent our freetime doing a kids' yoga video, coloring "homework," and making pizza and chocolate zucchini bread. She desperately wants to be helpful and to plan just how everything is going to happen. And she wants to do everything WITH someone else. It's so wonderful and yet it can be such a pain when Ruben is in attack mode in the afternoons. He'll hurt her and she'll know she should step away and yet she so desperately wants to be with someone she goes right back to the abuse. School is such a blessing for her because it gives her 15 other people to be with instead of these three lame-o's at home.
While I miss quiet things and time spent without the weight of another human being in my arms, I'm trying to enjoy this stage of life. At least while I'm sitting here typing, I've been able to decipher my own voice coming through the chaos even if at times I feel like no one listens to a word I say. Have I mentioned that afternoons tend to get a little hectic around here? If anyone has a good suggestion for getting a nearly three year old to revert to napping again besides narcotics, feel free to come over and try it out. I'm ready to go to more thrift stores.
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